Longing
by martman
Summary: What if Lily had hated James? What if Lily had chosen Snape?
1. You Have Everything Over Them

**A/N:**_ Hey guys ^^ This is my first fanfic, I hope you all enjoy it! I'm planning on making it pretty long I think, so if you do read it you might have to wait a while for other chapters becuase I'll be studying hard from now until next June, so I'll write whenever I have time. Please leave any constructive critisism or ideas in a review!  
><em>**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, locations, spells or any other Wizarding-World terms and doo-hickeys that you recognise. That's all Queen JK's doing.**

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><p>"He's looking at you again." Snape eyed the messy haired teenager across the hall. The eyes behind those round glasses quickly averted to the scrambled eggs and fried toast on his plate and he hastily continued eating, trying but failing to ignore the fact that he had been caught, again.<p>

Lily sighed. "I wish he'd stop; it's really annoying. It's creepy too... But then, what else could you expect from an idiot like him?"  
>Snape chuckled. It had been well over three weeks now that both Lily and Snape had noticed that James Potter's interest in Lily had greatly increased. He was constantly trying to catch Lily's eye, make small talk with her and, much to Snape's amusement, <em>flirt<em> with her. Well, that's if you could call it flirting. "Come on, Lil, you can't hate him that much… look how popular and clever and talented he is!" As much as he was joking around, Snape knew what he'd said was true. James _was_ talented and popular… but ignorant, selfish and shallow too, Snape hated the way James treated other people, he always looked down on others and spoke to them like they were dirt. The only people that received any of James' respect were his select few friends, and now, apparently, Lily.

"He's such an idiot! What do you think goes through that thick head of his, Sev? …You reckon that he thinks that because he has a group of stupid fourth year girls run around after him, giggling and obeying his every whim, that I too will run to him with open arms, batting my eyelashes like a love sick fool? He's an arrogant pig! I hope his fat head weighs him down and he falls off of his broomstick"

Lily hadn't always loathed James. In fact, yes, she did used to like him, and she did used to think he was good looking, kind and clever. They hadn't really been friends, but she knew him well enough. Yet ever since she'd caught him trying to spike Snape's Butterbeer with a very potent vial of Doxycide that her suspicions began to rise that maybe James wasn't the nice person she thought he was.  
>Three days after this, when Lily witnessed James using the Levicorpus jinx on Snape, she firmly decided that she hated James. She couldn't understand how a person could be so selfish, so arrogant, so… so <em>stupid. <em>Of course, Lily forgave Snape for the incident with the 'M' word… she knew he didn't mean it, and she knew that he was genuinely sorry for saying it… after all, lily thought, he's my best friend. It was probably just the influence of those dickheads Rosier and Avery that he'd been talking to.  
>Lily didn't know why her hatred towards James had caused him to react in this way; it seemed that he was positively thrilled at the thought that she had begun giving him any attention at all, even if it were negative.<p>

Snape checked his watch. "Hey, we better get going, first lesson starts in a few minutes."  
>Snape got up, picked up his own things along with Lily's and stood waiting for her to get up too.<br>"Thanks, Sev" she smiled as she took her bag from him. They exited the Great Hall and made their way up the moving staircase.  
>"What lesson have you got now? I think I have Charms, so where do you want to meet up afterwards?"<br>"Let me check" Snape murmured, and he awkwardly bent down to get his timetable out. As he took it out, most of his books fell out of his bag too, along with a small box.  
>"Fuck." He felt himself go red as he flopped to the floor and scooped everything up and threw it back into his bag, ignoring the hysterical laughter from James and his friends as they watched from the floor above. He got up, flustered, and looked at the piece of paper in his hand.<br>"Well, looks like I have Defence Against the Dark Arts, with those bastards up there."  
>Lily scowled up at them and stuck up her middle finger. James' smiled dropped slightly as he turned and disappeared out of sight. "Don't let them bother you, Sev, they're just jealous."<br>Snape scoffed. "_Jealous_? Of what exactly!"  
>Lily smiled and put her hand on his shoulder. "You have character, Sev. Personality, depth… They're just pompous idiots that think they should be treated as royalty because they stand out from the crowd a little. Trust me, Sev, you have everything over them, it's just that it's only us that know it." She gave him her usual quick but tight hug, and ran off down the third floor corridor, leaving Snape with a warm feeling in his stomach.<p>

He wondered how he was ever lucky enough to be friends with somebody as amazing as Lily… and how impossible it would be for him to express the longing that lay in his heart for her.

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>AN:** _What did you think? It's a bit slow and nothing exiting really happens, I know, but I just wanted to get across Snape, James and Lily's feelings about eachother in this chapter ^^_


	2. Happy Birthday, Lily

**A/N:** _Did you enjoy the last chapter? This chapter is pretty long, and I've introduced a new character. This chapter really focuses on the beginning of Lily's mutal feelings for Snape, I was laughing to myself as I wrote it becuase I've portrayed Snape as a little more upbeat and 'lovey-dovey' as you'd expect. Enjoy!_

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><p>The wind was harsh as Lily made her way down from the Owlery, clutching a letter and a neatly wrapped package from her parents. She looked up at the dark grey sky and frowned. Was it full of rain, or snow? Oh, how she'd love for it to snow on her sixteenth birthday… Lily loved snowflakes; they were so simple, yet so complex, falling slowly and elegantly from the heavens…<br>Her daydream was interrupted as she suddenly bumped into another student. She braced herself for some form of abuse that was about to come her way for not paying attention to her surroundings.  
>"HEY! You should look where you're going, you clums- Oh! Hey Lily!"<br>Lily sighed with relief. She had expected some loud and rude seventh year, but instead it was her friend, and fellow Gryffindor, Samantha. "It's your birthday today, isn't it? Happy Birthday! Are you having a good day so far? What gifts did you get? I wonder if you'll get any birthday kisses…"  
>Samantha was Lily's other best friend, besides Sev, of course, and possibly one of the only girls in Gryffindor that she trusted and was comfortable to be around. She was quite tall, standing at 173cm, and she had long, red hair, although she'd transfigured it to look that way.<br>Like Lily, Samantha didn't have very many friends. However, Lily didn't have many friends because she was very particular about whom she trusted with her secrets; Samantha, on the other hand, didn't have many friends because not many students _wanted_ to be friends with her. Yes, it was true that Samantha liked to talk a lot, was quite eccentric and had an interest in the abnormal and unknown, (for instance, she had transfigured one of her eyes to appear purple, and the previous week she had been investigating the effect that Shrinking Solution had on Pumpkin Pasties), but she was also very kind and caring, she was a great listener and was always thinking positively, which was one of the main reasons Lily enjoyed her company so much; listening to Sev moan about things all the time could get quite tedious.  
>"Haha, thank you! My day has been pretty average, I guess. You know I don't like people fussing over me on my birthday so I'm just trying to keep a low profile… and I think I'd bet three galleons that this parcel contains a knitted scarf and a box of chocolates" Lily indicated the package. She had suspected that her parents had given her something pretty basic for her birthday, but that was the way she liked it.<br>"Hey, Sam? I don't suppose you've seen Sev today, have you?"  
>"I think I saw him scuttling about on the seventh floor earlier but I haven't seen him this afternoon… I don't know what you see in him, Lil. I know you've been childhood friends since you were young but… I just get bad vibes from him, you know? I've got nothing against him though; I just don't think he's really my cup of tea… But anyway, I need to go 'cause I've got a letter to send. See you later, Lil!" Samantha waved as she ran up and out of sight.<p>

Lily was used to people frowning upon and criticizing her friendship with Sev, she didn't care, though. She originally assumed that people didn't like it because they belonged to rival houses, but as Lily regularly said to Sev: If people are that disbelieving in each other because of a reason as pathetic as that, then they don't know true friendship.  
>That was the reason she wasn't going to break off her friendship with Sev. It was way too strong for something as stupid as that.<p>

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><p>Snape flounced into the Great Hall later on that evening, scoured the room for Lily's vibrant red head, spotted her and strolled over, looking very pleased with himself. He took a seat next to Lily and began piling his plate with food.<br>"Evening!" He chirped happily before taking a sip from his goblet.  
>"Hello," Lily replied sourly, without looking at him. After exhausting herself all day from climbing up and down various staircases to look for him, she really couldn't be bothered to waste any more energy on him, especially since it seemed he'd not even bothered to wish her a happy birthday… Not that I care, she thought, but it would have been nice of him.<br>"Anything good happen today?" Snape asked her, picking up his goblet again.  
>"Well, you know that…" She turned around to face him.<br>"Hmm? Go on." Snape raised his eyebrows as he took another sip.  
>Lily fought the urge to scowl at Snape's ignorance. "Nothing. Never mind."<br>"Was it that arsehole Potter again? Has he been harassing you?" Lily shook her head. "Hmm, you're sure nothing's the matter?" Lily shook her head a little more vigorously.  
>Snape couldn't help himself but laugh. "Oh Lil, you're so modest, you really aren't going to… Oh dear," he wiped a tear from his eye and leant on his elbow, chuckling to himself. As Lily slammed her fork down on the table, Snape grinned wider as he realised that he'd finally received the reaction he'd wanted.<br>"How dare you! Why are you being so cocky and arrogant? I bet you haven't even _remembered_, have you?" She felt her face redden as Snape began laughing again. She hit him on the arm. "Stop it! You're beginning to remind me of Potter now! SEV!" Snape was almost in stitches now, gasping for air in between blows from Lily. "STOP – IT – NOW – YOU – ARSEHOLE -– OW! GET OFF!"  
>Snape had recovered from his fit of laughter and was now looking at Lily with a serious expression and very firmly gripping Lily's wrist to stop her from hitting him.<br>"I'm sorry for laughing, Lil. I'll forget your comment about my arrogance and resemblance to Potter just now, if you'll stop hitting me and listen." He felt her wrists become lest tense in his hands. "I haven't forgotten, Lil. Just shut up, pick up your things and follow me."

As he led her up the moving staircase, Snape smirked to himself and marvelled at the genius of his plan. His attempt to get Lily angry had worked; of course he hadn't forgotten her birthday, she was his best friend. He just wanted her to think he had forgotten. That way, he thought to himself, when I do reveal my surprise, it'll be even better.  
>"Sev," Lily said quietly, "Where are we going?" Snape chose to ignore this, feeling that it would ruin the surprise slightly if he told her.<br>As they approached the Astronomy Tower, Snape stopped and turned to face Lily.  
>"Sorry for all the dodgy silences and stuff, I just want this to work properly. Turn around." Lily did as she was told, still scowling slightly; she hated being told what to do. She jumped as Snape lowered a blindfold over her eyes.<br>"Snape, what the…?"  
>"It's alright, come here," he took her hand and guided her upwards towards the tower entrance. Snape positioned her in several spots around the room, trying to decide which would make his surprise look best, and when he was happy with his choice, took off Lily's blindfold.<p>

"Oh…" Lily's eyes lit up. The small room in the tower had been decorated beautifully, floating candles that mirrored those in the Great Hall were dancing around the walls, silk rugs, cushions and fluffy blankets of every colour were spread across the floor, and in the middle of the room was a small blanket covered with desserts of every type, pastries, buns, pies, and cakes. In the corner was a small table with two goblets of Butterbeer sitting on top, and a bottle of Firewhisky sitting beneath. None of this, however, caught Lily's eye as much as what was above her head.  
>Thousands of tiny, beautiful snowflakes were falling above her, disappearing just as they reached her head. These too seemed similar to those that decorated the Hall during winter, but she'd never seen them look so pretty. She'd got what she'd wanted. It was snowing on her birthday.<br>"Oh, Sev… This is…" Lily was lost for words; she stood rooted to the spot gazing around the room, a look of wonder on her face.  
>"Happy birthday, Lily." Snape put his arm around her shoulder and gave her a slight squeeze and kissed her head, which she returned with a very tight hug. Snape then realised she was shaking… No, crying.<br>"Lily, Lil, what's the matter, aren't you happy?" Snape was worried now, had all of his hard work gone to waste?  
>"No, no Sev, this is amazing. I thought… I thought you'd forgotten my birthday but… Wow… really? You went through all this trouble just for me?"<br>"Hey, don't be stupid, you're my best friend, _and _it's your sixteenth, we had to celebrate it somehow! I know you wouldn't have done anything, because you hate the attention but I had to remedy that somehow." He winked at her and led her over to the food in the middle of the room. "Anyway, time for cake!"

After spending most of the evening laughing, eating, drinking and joking around, it occurred to Lily to ask how he'd managed to get hold of all of the stuff.  
>"Well, when you're as lonely and rejected as myself, you learn to get on and make friends with the House Elves, and of course they were delighted to help me! That's where I got the food, and, ah yes, <em>the Firewhisky<em>. I think a drink is in order, don't you?"  
>Lily laughed as she drank, but accidentally spilled it all down her front.<br>"Oh no…" She looked around the room for a box of tissues, spotted them and awkwardly stood up.  
>"Here, I'll get them," Snape muttered, getting up too. Lily stepped forward to take the tissues off of Snape but tripped over the corner of one of the blankets, and fell forwards onto Snape, causing Snape to fall backward towards the floor.<p>

"Oh, sorry!" Lily flushed. Snape didn't, he just lay there silently, looking up at Lily.  
>"Lil…"<br>"Move, Sev, I need to get up and I don't want to hurt you…" She tried to roll off of his body, but he put his hand on her shoulder. "What?"  
>"Lily… You're so pretty, Lily. You know that, don't you?" She was slightly taken aback, but smiled all the same.<br>"Thank you, Sev, but really, move, so that I can get up." But Snape just continued looking at her.  
>"I mean it, Lil. You are pretty… and- and- you're so kind and everything too, you're the nicest person I know. No, you're amazing, Lily, and I really-"<br>Lily began to feel a little uncomfortable. "Sev, please, I think you've had a little too much to drink… let me up please, I'm getting cramp!"  
>"No, Lily, I… I love you Lily, I always have." Then without warning, and without thinking, he leant forward, cupped Lily's face in his hands, and kissed her gently on the mouth. When she didn't pull away, his kissed her a little deeper.<br>It was at this point that Lily realised what was happening, and broke away from him, shocked with what she'd just let him do.  
>What was with his sudden declaration of love for her? Was he joking? No, the look on his face told her that he was deadly serious.<p>

Without saying anything, Lily staggered to her feet, and ran out of the Astronomy Tower room, her head buzzing with confusion and flashbacks of what had just happened.

**A/N: **_What did you think? I think Snape's actions were pretty sudden, but I thought that if I changed it, it would have been a lot worse that what it is now, haha. Do you like Samantha? I kind of based her character on myself, and chose the_ _name as it means 'good listener' :D  
>Please anticipate the next chapter!<br>_


	3. We Need To Talk

**A/N: **Did you all enjoy the previous chapter? Thank you all for the reviews, please keep reviewing! This short chapter revloves around Lily coming to terms with her feelings, I hope you enjoy it!

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><p>Lily was a mess. Three days had passed since her birthday, and she had made it one of her top priorities to avoid Snape as much as she possibly could.<br>It was on that dismally grey Tuesday morning in potions, that Lily and Snape had shared words since what Lily had referred to Samantha as 'The Incident'.  
>"Erm, Lily? Have you done the essay?" Snape asked her timidly. Lily nodded.<br>"Could… Could I copy your introduction, please?" He tried to make himself sound hopeful.  
>"You've got time, it doesn't need to be handed in until Friday," Lily uttered bluntly, without looking at him. When she realised Snape was going to stand there until she said yes, she reached into her back and took out a scroll, thrust it into Snape's arms and half ran towards a seat next to Samantha before Snape could even give her his thanks. He sighed, and proceeded to the back of the classroom taking his usual seat at the back, minus the company of his best friend.<p>

Although she may have seemed it, Lily wasn't angry at Snape. If anything, she was _confused_. He was her best friend, and best friends don't do that kind of thing. Was it normal for a friend to fall in love with another? No, she shook her head, as if shaking away the very thought. No, she told herself, don't even use that word. 'Love' has nothing to do with this… it was only a kiss after all.  
>Sensing her friend's tense state of mind, Samantha chose not to questions Lily's thoughts, but instead gently squeezed her hand. "If you need to talk, Lil, you know where I am, right?" She smiled sweetly, causing Lily in turn to crack her first smile in days.<br>"Thank you," she whispered back, letting her thoughts take over again.

The one thing that annoyed Lily the most is that she had _let _Snape kiss her. Yes, she hadn't expected it, but when it had happened, she hadn't pulled away immediately. She pondered this thought further and then realised… I hadn't pulled away because… _because I hadn't wanted to... I wanted him to kiss me!  
><em>

Shocked with her sudden realisation of truth, a string of new thoughts began buzzing around Lily's mind; Was she attracted to Snape? Of course not, said a voice in the back of her head.  
>…But you do love his wit and sense of humour, said another.<br>She loved Snape, yes, but as a friend, nothing more…  
>But think about it, said the second voice, you do everything a couple would do; You're with each other at every opportunity, you love each others company, you amuse each other, you make each other happy… Face it, the voice persisted, your life would be empty without him!<p>

Lily slumped down in her chair and let her head flop down onto the desk. The hard, bitter truth had hit home. She did want Snape.  
>Okay, she reasoned with herself, I may be in love with my best friend, but I won't show it… I can't. It'd ruin our friendship, if there still is one… Especially since Sev feels the same way! He can never know that the feeling is mutual.<p>

Tired of arguing with the relentless voices in her head, she began to brew the potion which she should have completed by now.  
>Twenty minutes later, the bell had gone, and Lily reached under the desk for her bag. When she resurfaced, a scroll and torn piece of parchment lay upon her desk. She scoured the room and saw Snape's tall, slim frame slouch out of the dungeon.<br>She turned the torn piece of parchment around and began to read the tiny scrawl written on it.

_I'm sorry, Lil.  
>We need to talk.<br>Usual place at 9pm?  
>Sev x <em>

Lily frowned slightly at the message but nonetheless folded and pocketed it. She left the room silently, still reflecting on the thoughts of the past hour.

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><p><strong>AN: **Huhuhu, whatever could happen next? I enjoyed writing this chapter as I think it relieves some of the tension Lily had about her feelings... The next chapter will take a while to write because I'm currently working on another FF too. Please, please, please review with opinions, advice, ideas and constructive critisism, it'd really help!


	4. I'll Take That… As a Yes, Then?

**A/****N: _Hola amigos! Thank you to everybody that's favourited this story, it means a lot ^-^ As to the last chapter, I hope it was satisfactory?  
>I really think you guys will like this chapter, a lot happens *wink wink* In a nutshell and without spoilers, it's about the two discussing what had happened, but I won't reveal anything for you until you've read it!<br>Just a little tip for you here: When I write chapters for this particular FF, I don't imagine Snape as a nasty, ugly, greasy teenager. In my imagination and in my story, I think it's more effective if you imagine Snape as slightly more good looking and attractive. You know, tall, mysterious, long hair, etc. Kind of like L from Death Note? Otherwise it might seem a bit cringey...? Don't feel that you have to though, it's just my recommendation.  
>Happy reading, guyz :3<em>**

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><p>Snape perched under a tree by the edge of the lake absentmindedly tossing pebbles into the dark rippling depths, just as he had been doing for the past hour. He knew that Lily wouldn't have turned up, and wondered why he himself had bothered either.<br>He mentally scolded himself. _How could I be so stupid? I've hidden my feelings for Lily for this long, why couldn't I have just held onto them for longer? I just couldn't keep my mouth shut -or far away enough from Lily's- and carry on as usual, could I?  
><em>He slumped down against the tree trunk. He knew blown up their friendship with his actions; Lily wouldn't even talk to him, let alone consider staying friends.  
>Snape checked his watch. It was ten to ten, and Lily obviously wasn't coming. He sighed heavily, got up from under the tree and walked to the edge of the lake. Much to his dismay, the heavens happened to open up just as he'd got up. For a few minutes, he just stood there, letting the rain drops fall over him and fall into the lake. Within minutes, his hair and clothes became increasingly damp, and the cold began to seep in.<br>Then, as quickly as it had began, the rain suddenly ceased. Confused, Snape looked up, and to his surprise noticed and umbrella floating above his head. Connected to the umbrella was a long and slender arm that belonged to none other than the very person he'd been waiting to meet.

Lily didn't look up. She just stared forward at the ripples in the lake, as Snape stared at her in bewilderment.  
>"I thought you weren't going to come," Snape murmured.<br>Lily took her time to reply. "So did I, and yet… somehow I find myself standing here beside you." She still hadn't looked at him. "What did you want to talk about?"  
>Snape continued staring at her. "Are you serious? You don't know what I want to talk about? About... About what happened? I thought you'd want to-"<br>"Sev, please. I don't want to talk about what happened…" Lily interrupted loudly. "It- it wasn't meant to happen, and so, we'll just pretend it didn't, okay?"  
>Snape's jaw dropped. "How can you not want to talk about it? Don't you <em>need<em> to? I'm sorry for what I did, Lily, but I just couldn't help it… And for what I said about loving you… I _do _love you, just not like I meant it that night… I'm sorry Lily, I don't know what I can do to resolve it all, I just really-"

Lily had had enough. She threw the umbrella down onto the ground. "Sev! Just shut up! I don't want to talk about it, so just leave it at that! You don't know how hard you're making this for me, how hard it is to deal with everything that's going around in my head right now! I'm a wreck, Sev!" Lily was crying now, and it was difficult for Snape to tell where her tears began and the rain ended. "It's entirely your fault, if you hadn't… hadn't… _kissed _me, then I wouldn't be in this mess! It's all because of you that my life has turned upside down; it's all because of you that I feel this way! Why did you have to kiss me, Sev, _why?_"

Snape quickly processed what Lily had just screamed at him. "Feel _what_ way, Lil? You mean that… you feel… That you…?" He stumbled on his words, hurrying to find the right ones without making himself look like a forward idiot.  
>Lily had calmed down and wiped away her tears, but an essence of anger still lay in her voice. "I- I don't know, Sev… I don't know how I feel. Ever since that night, my mind's just- I don't know. I think I do… I hope I don't because, that just isn't right with us but… but…"<br>Snape came to the conclusion that there was no subtle way to ask what he wanted to ask. "Lily, do you like me?" He felt like such an arse for asking it as Lily's eyes became wide and she began to stutter.  
>"I- No! I don't like… Well, I don't think I… Yes, I- Oh, I DON'T KNOW, SEV!" She burst into tears again. Snape couldn't help but step towards her and wipe away her tears, even though he could tell this was probably a bad move.<br>"Lily, how can you not know?" He said softly. "I mean, you either like someone, or you don't…"  
>Lily managed to stop sniffling and calm herself enough to reply. "I love you, Sev, as a friend. You're my best friend. But… ever since my birthday, and what- what happened… I can't help but feel a little different… But I don't want to, Sev! This shouldn't happen, we're <em>friends<em>! I just can't… decide… how I feel about you!"

Snape knew that the move he was about to make could either go amazingly well, or ruin their friendship forever. "Maybe this will… Will help you decide, Lil."  
>Before Lily could say anything else, he stepped closer to her and moved the red hair that was plastered to her face. He put his hands on her shoulders, angled his head slightly and planted his lips on hers. However, he knew what he was doing this time; it wasn't a drunken mistake, he was sober, he'd thought it out. If Lily needed to decide on her feelings, then this was the only way that he could think of.<br>The kiss was gentle, sweet and short. It wasn't forced and sudden as it had been on the night of Lily's birthday. He broke away from her, leaving her with her lips slightly parted and a dazed look across her face.  
>"Well? Anything? Did- Do you feel anything? Did it make a difference, or-"<br>Snape couldn't finish his sentence, because just as he'd paused for her reply, Lily had flung her arms around his neck and was kissing him with so much passion that he almost stumbled backwards. Snape couldn't help but kiss her back with great intensity; all of the stresses and tensions of his hidden feelings were relieved in these moments of passion. Lily too, hadn't realised until now how much she had actually craved her best friends' touch, his kiss…  
>With deep regret, Snape broke off the kiss for a second time, actually having to put pressure on Lily's shoulders in order to stop her making another advance. "I'll take that… as a yes, then?" He grinned widely.<br>Lily wrapped her arms around his neck again, and looked up into his dark grey eyes. "Shut up, Sev. I'll hate you forever for this."

For what felt like hours, they stood out in the rain; drops of water slid down their faces as their lips locked and their tongues danced. Lily was still unsure that this was the right decision, but could not bring herself to stop. For now, it felt right. She knew it would, as much as she hadn't wanted it to. She didn't care.  
>As Snape ran his fingers through her sodden hair, Lily traced lines down his back with her fingernails, stroking his cold skin through his drenched shirt, ever deepening their unforgetful kiss.<p>

At around eleven o'clock, they finally left the school grounds, and made their way back up to the castle, fingers interlocked.  
>Both Lily and Snape had made peace with their feelings for eachother, and neither teenager could have felt happier than they had that night.<p>

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><p><strong>AN:**_** HUHUHUHUHUHUUUUUUUU Did you see that coming? Yeah, I guess you probably did, sorry if it was a bit predictable, but I couldn't help it. I loved writing this chapter, it was so fun, haha. From what I said at the AN up at the top about imagining Snape differently, did you try it? If you did/didn't, read it again with the opposite image of Snape, and let me know which works better.  
>BUT GUYS, LISTEN! I'M IN A PICKLE! I need your help with ideas for my next chapter. I have a vauge idea, but nothing monstrous. I was going to set it a couple of weeks after the events of this one... But as always, please review, and please anticipate the next chapter ^-^<br>**_


	5. She Wants My Attention? She'll Get It

**A/N: **Konnichiwa! Chapter 5 is complete! This one was only short and I find myself with extra time on my hands at the moment so I have longer to write more chapters! This chapter is set two weeks after the events of the last, and from the point of view of James, Sirius and Lupin. Thanks to _**ujemaima**_ with the idea of James 'stalking Lily', it inspired me with quite a dark idea for the end of this chapter and for the following chapters, thank you! Also in reply to _**Janet**_ and to anyone else who wants to know, Snape isn't involved with the Death Eaters in this FF, however he talks and hangs out with them when he's not with Lily, meaning that Snape doesn't necessarily turn that way, but still has the dark qualities of a Slytherin student. Hope that's cleared up, if you have any questions on any characters/storylines then please feel free to ask! Happy readingz!

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><p>James Potter leaned against the windowpane, bored out of his skull.<br>"Hey, you should be practising. You're not going to learn anything if you- James? Are you even listening?" Remus Lupin prodded James sharply in the ribs. "James!"  
>"Leave him alone, Remus," Sirius laughed. "You're not going to get anything out of that idiot. After all, at the moment, he's an idiot in <em>love…<em> He has other things on his mind."  
>James' friends had been taunting him for weeks now because of his infatuation with Lily Evans, the girl that was often referred to in James' words as his 'dream girl'. As per usual, Sirius took great pleasure in reminding James that Lily hated his guts; Remus, however, was more concerned about the issues that would occur if and when James discovered Lily's current relationship status.<p>

Giving in to Lupin's repetitive pokes, James snapped out of his daydream and picked up his quill before slamming it back down on the desk again shortly after.  
>"I just don't <em>understand!<em> Why won't she go out with me? I mean, look at me! What's not to like?"  
>Sirius snorted. "Maybe the fact that you're pig headed and self obsessed?"<br>James shot him a look of annoyance. "Piss off, Sirius, I'm serious. I'm good looking, she's good looking… It's a perfect match!" He ignored the stifled cough coming from Remus that sounded somewhat like the word 'shallow', and went back to gazing out of the window daydreaming for the remainder of the lesson.

During lunch, James took up his usual activity of what Sirius called 'Evans-watching'. Sirius mimed a pair of binoculars and leant in close to James.  
>"So," he whispered in an overly posh and mocking tone, "So, what rarity are we spying for today, old chap? Has the vibrant feathered Lily-bird left the nest today?"<br>As Lupin collapsed with laughter, James slapped Sirius around the back of the head.  
>"Shut up. She's not here yet anyway." He picked up one of the goblets at the table and began examining his reflection, messing up his hair, grinning cheekily at himself and making sure he was presentable for when Lily made an entrance.<br>Lupin patted James on the shoulder. "I don't know why you don't just give up, Prongs. You-" Lupin was forced to stop speaking as James shoved his hand into his face.  
>Of course, Lupin thought, Her Majesty must be making an entrance.<br>Lily walked into the hall, her long hair swishing around her elbows as she took each step. Even Remus couldn't deny that she had a very particular glow about her, and it was a well known fact that he was hard to please.  
>James messed up his hair again, following Lily with his eyes and preparing to wave. As usual, he wasn't even acknowledged by her, and she proceeded to take a seat at the opposite end of the hall with Severus Snape. <em>Snivellus.<br>_

"That Slytherin wanker," James sneered. "Why does she sit with that greasy fag instead of over here with me, where she should be?"  
>Sirius sighed. "Fat chance of that mate, not now she's-"<br>"I KNOW!" James shouted at him. "For God's sake, you don't have to tell me every fucking minute of the goddamn day!"  
>Sirius looked back at his friend, puzzled. "You- You know? Wow, you're taking that well. I thought you'd be absolutely livid, 'specially as it's <em>him<em>…"  
>This time it was James' turn to look confused. "What… What are you talking about? Him… <em>what?<em>"  
>Remus rolled his eyes, exasperated, and began to explain. "They're going out, James. They have been for a couple of weeks now… Christ, didn't you just see them holding hands as they walked in?"<br>Then, without warning, James was on his feet, gripping Remus by the collar and holding his other clenched fist in mid air.  
>"Don't you <em>dare <em>joke about that, Remus. If this is your idea of a joke then you better start fucking apologising!"  
>Sirius tugged hard at James' sleeve. "Sit down, James, people are starting to stare. Please, just sit… <em>down<em>!"

With James lodged back in his seat, and Remus gently rubbing the back of his neck, Sirius explained further.  
>"Apparently, something went off on Evans' birthday, and since then… well, they've been seeing each other."<br>James shook his head. "No way- How do you- Why has nobody-?"  
>"The reason it's not big news," Sirius continued, predicting James' questions, "is that they're so close anyway, I guess it was just a matter of time before they took it further. I mean, they practically live in each other's pockets anyway, so it's hardly unexpected…"<br>As James slowly processed this, Lupin smirked.  
>"And how is it, Mr Black, that you happen to know all of this behind the scenes information?"<br>"Ah," Sirius sat up proudly, "You see, my dear Moony, _girls talk_; and considering the amount of time I spend around them," he smoothed down his hair, "I'm bound to pick up some of the gossip."

James was oblivious to this separate conversation. The only people that existed in the hall were Lily, himself and him; _Snivellus_. (**A/N**: Queue control freak and dictator state of mind)

_Why should I have to sit back and watch him take my Lily? _My Lily_. What the fuck is she even thinking, going with him? Is she trying to make me jealous…? Yes, that must be it. Yes! She's trying to get a reaction out of me. So she _does_ want me! Stupid slut, she's more deceiving than she looks… Well, she wants my attention? She'll get it. Oh, and she'll know about it, too. This is the perfect chance to deal with that fucker Snivellus, too._

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><p><strong>AN: **I've made James sound like a psycopath, haha! No, he's not gone crazy, it's just a sort of anger-induced thread of thoughts in this chapter. Ahh... as for a quick preview of the next chapter, it's gonna be a long one (TWSS), involving more LilyxSnape (maybe a bit suggestive, who knows?), quite a bit of conflict, and I'm going to attempt to write a very dark and sort of sinister event, but as for what it is and who it involves, you'll have to wait and see! Please review and anticipate! ^-^


	6. Such Egotism

****A/N: **_**Hey everyone, I'm really sorry I've not written in a while, I've been really busy. Since it's the new year I've had a day or two to write and finish another chapter, and I'll be planning and hopefully writing another very soon. **_**_  
>I hope you guys like this chapter, I structured it a little differently at the end, but you know, whatever. Enjoy the chapter ^^<em>****

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><p>Lily pressed her back against the wall of the corridor as a large group of fourth years pushed past her, eagerly chatting about and predicting the turnout of the Quidditch match that was due to begin. Lily was however moving in the opposite direction to the crowds and the pitch, and towards the library. Yes, she enjoyed watching a good game of Quidditch, but not when it was Gryffindor against Slytherin. She couldn't stand the loathsome comments and jeers from the two sides of the pitch. She knew there was nothing wrong with a bit of healthy competition, but the insults were genuine and harsher than usual. She refused to be surrounded by it, and anyway, she had better things to do.<p>

As the crowds began to thin out, she continued on her way, moving less cautiously now as she had a much smaller change of being elbowed in the side. As she neared the library, she checked her watch. Great, she thought to herself, it should be about empty by now. She smirked to herself when she saw that only three other people occupied the room: a couple of third years completing what seemed to be overdue homework, and a seventh year, head buried deep in a book.  
>She dumped her bag on a table at the very back, unpacked her books and equipment, and began her potions essay in peace.<p>

An hour or so passed, and Lily was half way through her essay, feeling thankful that the Snitch had not yet been caught.  
>She put down her quill and rested her head in her hands, taking a few moments rest. This rest was interrupted though, by a sharp whisper right inside her ear.<br>"Hard at work?"  
>Lily gasped loudly and physically jumped out of her seat, sending textbooks flying in all directions and splattering ink across her cheek.<br>"What the fuck? Sev, you total arse-" As Lily turned around, stood before her was not the slim, tall figure of Snape, but a set of drenched and muddy red and gold Quidditch robes, clinging to the body of none other than James Potter.  
>"Oh, expecting somebody else?" He smirked smugly. "I think that's the first time I've ever heard you swear, Evans!"<br>Lily scowled, her relaxed mood ruined. "I-what? Leave me alone, I'm trying to study! And, what, _swear_? What? What are you – _Why are you even here?"_  
>James looked puzzled for a moment, and then realised what Lily had meant.<br>"Oh – oh the match, you mean, I'm playing today. Broken wrist." He waved a freshly bandaged arm proudly. "On my way back now, I have to. I mean, they can't win it without me, can they?"  
>Lily's jaw dropped in disgust. <em>Such egotism.<br>_"I meant _here. _The Quidditch pitch is in the other direction. Why are you in the library?"  
>"Oh," James raised his eyebrows and smiled. "I came to say 'hi'". He leant against the table, a proud smile on his face.<br>"I – How did you know I was here? Did you search the whole school just so you could show off your bandage?"  
>"Ah, that's for me to know and for you to… <em>not…<em> find out." He tapped the side of his nose and winked. (A/N: Perhaps James has been consulting the Map?)  
>"So<em>, Evans<em>," he leant in, (uncomfortably close, in Lily's opinion), "Why are you sat in here, and not out in the stands, watching me grace the pitch?"  
>Lily smiled sarcastically. "Quite frankly, <em>Potter, <em>I'd rather stick my head up a Hippogriff's arse than watch you do anything, let alone go out of my way to give you the satisfaction of having my attention, even for one minute."  
>James smirked. "Isn't that what you're doing now, though?"<br>Lily let out an angry sigh. "Look here, Potter. I don't like you, at all. I don't care how talented you are, how popular you are," Her voice became a threatening whisper. "I don't care how… how good looking you think you are, stay away from me. You're an obnoxious fool, Potter, and if you don't keep your distance, you might find that precious broomstick of yours shoved through one of your eye sockets."

Unfortunately, James didn't seem as offended as Lily would have liked; instead he leant in closer still, so close in fact that their noses were almost touching.  
>"I don't think I like your tone, Evans. I think you need to remember who you're talking to!"<br>Lily laughed spitefully. "I'd show more respect to a dung beetle."  
>James stood up abruptly, forcing Lily backwards into a bookcase. She winced: her spine had hit the sharp edge of a bookshelf. She tried to push James backwards so she could get free, but he stood his ground; he was stronger than he looked. He grabbed her wrists and pinned them by her head, preventing her from pushing him or trying to wriggle free.<br>She eyed James viciously. "If you don't move _right now - "_  
>"You'll what? Get Snivellus to hex me?" He jeered.<br>"Don't call him that!" Lily hissed.  
>"I heard you're going out with him now, hm? You're to good for him, Lily, you should be with me, soaking up all the glory…"<br>"I would never, _ever_, go anywhere near y-"  
>"We'll see," James whispered softly, and swiftly dropped her wrists, turned around and left the library, as if nothing had happened.<p>

Minutes later, Lily was still stood squashed against the bookcase, anger and shock pulsing around her veins. She slumped to the floor, massaging her spine, not quite sure if she should be worried or not.

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><p>Snape hated Quidditch. He couldn't see how watching or playing a game based around throwing and catching could be appealing to anybody over the age of twelve, and so, like every school match, Snape hadn't attended today's.<br>He'd remembered that Lily had wanted to start an essay today, and so he'd assumed she'd be in the library, taking advantage of the peace and quiet. He made his way up to the third floor, hoping to catch her before she left the library, knowing she'd appreciate the company and assistance.

What he discovered, though, when he got there, was quite the opposite of what he had expected. He'd expected to see Lily sitting alone, pouring over text books and scribbling away. Instead, he found Lily sitting at a table, face to face with James Potter.

They were just casually talking, it seemed, and sitting a little too close to each other as Snape would have liked. He stood by the entrance to the library, watching and attempting to listen. They were too far away to hear, but Snape heard snippets. "Good looking…. Talented."  
>It then dawned on him: Had Lily mistaken her loathing for Potter for something else? Did she actually like him? Why else would she call him good looking and talented?<br>Lost in thought, Snape failed to see Lily being forced backwards into the bookcase, but did happen to see both of James' hands rise upwards, perhaps to her face. He couldn't see their faces, but noticed that their bodies were practically pressed against each other… Were they kissing? He couldn't think why they would be, why Lily would do that… She wouldn't lead him on if she really liked Potter instead… but they were putting on a pretty convincing show in Snape's opinion. Why else would they be pressed against each other, out of sight and in a corner?

Disgusted with the images his mind was creating of Lily, _his Lily, _with that bastard, he turned on his heel and left the third floor, anger, betrayal and confusion consuming his thoughts.

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><p><strong>AN: ****_What did you think? It might come across as a bit confusing as to why James did what he did, but it'll be explained better in the next chapter. I hoped you liked it, please review and anticipate :D _**


	7. Leave me alone

**_A/N:_ Hey everyone, I can't write much right now because I'm in a rush and wanted to get this up as soon as possible! Please enjoy, review, anticipate etc, etc... I'll draft the next chapter tonight and get it up for you as soon as possible! ^-^**

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><p>"So, how did it go?"<br>"How did what go?"  
>"You… You said you were going to meet Evans yesterday? How hard did she stamp on your dream?"<br>"Sirius," James looked his friend sincerely in the eye. "She's practically mine."  
>Sirius looked at him in disbelief. "What did you do, spike her drink with a love potion? You know she'd never go anywhere near you, why are you still trying? She has a <em>boyfriend<em> now, James."  
>James shook his head.<br>"No," he smiled. "Not really. I reckon she's just faking it with Snivellus so that I'll be jealous. I have a plan, Padfoot. You watch, give me a bit of time, and she won't be leaving my side."  
>"Good luck with that, mate. What are you going to do? Bully her into liking you?" Sirius scoffed, before getting up and leaving the Gryffindor common room, leaving James smirking to himself.<p>

Since the event it the library, Lily had been avoiding the common room as much as she possibly could; she'd spend most of her time elsewhere in the castle, or in her dormitory, away from most people. She'd convinced herself she wasn't doing this to avoid James Potter, but she knew deep down it was the reason for her absence around Gryffindor Tower.  
>What James had done had scared her. She'd never thought he'd be so aggressive… What was he playing at? He'd physically forced her into a corner and gotten right in her face. He'd not shouted at her or even raised his voice slightly, but there had been a menacing element in his voice, and it had sent shivers down her spine.<br>Worst of all though, Lily hadn't seen Snape since the day before the Quidditch match. She knew it'd be a bad idea to tell him about the incident in the library, but he could still hold her, and that would give her the comfort and sense of security that she really needed. It was for this reason that she'd been scouring the castle all day looking for him.  
>Thankfully, at around seven o'clock, she'd spotted him slouching out of the Grand Hall and towards the school grounds, looking gloomy.<br>"Sev!" She called, half running over to him. "I've not seen you in days, where have you been?"  
>"Around," he muttered, not looking at her.<br>"I've missed you," she half smiled, reaching for his hand. He pulled it away and stuffed it into his pocket,  
>"What - Sev? What's wrong?"<br>He stopped, back still facing her. "Leave me alone, Lily. I don't want to talk to you."  
>He flicked his hair out of his eyes, and walked out into the darkening grounds.<br>Lily ran after him, calling his name desperately.  
>"Sev, Sev! Wait! What have I do-"<br>He turned around to face her. His grey eyes narrowed viciously as they focused on her, yet when spoke directly to her, his voice was sad and empty.  
>"Piss off, Lily. I'm done with you. Get lost."<br>As Snape disappeared around a corner, Lily stood just outside the castle; silent tears began rolling down her cheeks. What did he mean, 'done with her'?

The one person she'd needed had disregarded her as if she'd done something awful, and she was oblivious as to what she possibly could have done.  
>She wiped the tears from her face with her sleeve and marched back inside, determined not to get worked up about his. She'd find a way to resolve it. She knew she'd done nothing wrong.<p> 


	8. He's Got It So Very Wrong

_**A/N: **_**Hello! I tried to get this up as soon as, haha! This one resolves a few problems, however there are more to come! :D I'd like to mention that in the last chapter I accidentally called the Great Hall the Grand Hall, oops, I was tired! Please don't think I don't know my way around Hogwarts! Anyway, enjoy this chapter! :D**

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><p>The day had been long, and Snape was exhausted. He'd chosen to skip the trip to Hogsmeade and spend the day studying, successfully completing three essays and mastering five new charms. He wouldn't usually dedicate an entire day to homework, but right now it was about the only thing that would take his mind off of what he'd seen in the library almost a week ago.<br>He was still furious about the whole situation, but didn't know if he should be furious with Lily or not. This was because he didn't know the full truth. He didn't know exactly what Lily had been doing with James, and he didn't know If the had actually been kissing, and therefore couldn't bring himself to assume one hundred percent that Lily had been kissing Potter, and potentially using _him. _Is that what she'd been doing? Using him to make Potter jealous?  
>Snape shook his head; he didn't want to think about it. No matter how pissed off he was with her, he still cared for Lily, he still had feelings for her. He just didn't know what to do.<p>

Lily walked up to Gryffindor Tower, carrying bags of new equipment she'd bought earlier that day in Hogsmeade. She unpacked a few things, but then gave up and decided to make her way down the the Great Hall; she was starving.  
>She met Samantha on the Grand staircase, and together they walked into the hall, discussing various things they'd seen together in the village. They sat down, helped themselves to dinner and continued chatting.<br>Taking a sip from her goblet, Lily noticed out of the corner of her eye that Snape had just walked into the hall. She didn't turn around to look at him, just the same as he hadn't searched the hall for her like he used to. She returned back to her food, still conversing with Samantha.  
>Checking her watch, she decided it was about time to be heading back up to her dormitory and getting a head start on some homework.<p>

She got up, said goodbye to Samantha and headed out of the hall. As she passed the Slytherin table, however, she heard a harsh whisper of "dirty mudblood," followed by a sharp hiss of "take that back".  
>Lily turned around, just so happening to be standing opposite Snape and another boy. She quickly remembered his name: McNair.<br>Lily looked at McNair pointedly, folding her arms. Loosing his snobbish demeanour, he went red and surprisingly muttered an apology. Lily acknowledged it with a nod of her head, and turned away, heading out of the room again. Again, she stopped, however, as she heard another whisper from the place she had just been standing.  
>"Oh dear, your face!" Snape chuckled, "Very subtle."<br>Lily rolled her eyes and let out an angry sigh. She strode around the other side of the table, grabbed Snape by the cuff of his robe and dragged him out of the hall, goblet still clutched in his other hand.  
>"What – what are you playing at, Lily? I was eating!"<br>Lily scoffed. "Me? What are you playing at? You're treating me like I've done something awful and I haven't done anything wrong! It's been a week since you've spoken to me, Sev, and already your ridiculous friends are insulting me, what's your problem?"  
>Lily's raised voice echoed around the entrance hall. Snape looked around, embarrassed, as people stared as they passed. This time it was him that grabbed Lily's wrist, dragging her to an empty corridor on the first floor.<br>"What are you talking about, my friends insulting you? McNair isn't my friend, and he's probably only being horrible be cause he has this_… thing_ for you, but anyway – I'm ignoring you for a reason Lily, and don't tell me you don't know why because we both know exactly what you've done! You've really hurt me, Lily, what the fuck?"  
>Lily's draw dropped as she folded her arms again.<br>"No, _Severus,_ I don't know what I've done. Enlighten me."  
>"I saw you, in the library last week, during the Quidditch match… with… <em>him<em>. You were… you know."  
>Lily raised her eyebrow. "No, I don't know, and who do you mean by 'him'?"<br>The look of disgust on Snape's face answered Lily's question. He meant James Potter.  
>"What? Why would you think I'd be doing anything with Potter? You know how I feel about him, he's a-"<br>"Yes, Lily! I do know how you feel about him! _I saw you_! How could you Lily, you told me you felt the same way I did!"  
>Lily closed her eyes for a second, trying to understand what Snape had thought he'd saw.<br>She sighed, mentally exhausted from confusion. "Please, Sev. Tell me what I've done. Tell me what you think you saw."  
>Snape was becoming impatient. "I saw you, in the library! Kissing him, at the back of the room, up against the bookcase! Does it sound familiar to you, Lily? Does it feel bad to have been found out?" Oh dear, Lily thought to herself, he's got it all wrong. He's got it so very wrong.<br>"Sev…" She said quietly, finally understanding. "Listen to me. You know I'd never do that to you with anybody, least of all James Potter. Please, listen. What you think you saw… that's not what happened. We weren't kissing! Did you actually see our lips touch? Did you actually see our lips touching? What on earth could make you think I'd to that?"

Snape knew she was telling the truth; they'd been friends for years, and he could tell exactly when she was lying, and she definitely wasn't now. He'd got it all wrong. He'd got it so very wrong.  
>Feeling guilty, and out of pure impulse, he grabbed Lily by the waist and pulled her into a tight hug.<br>Resting his chin on her shoulder, he began whispering his apology into her ear.  
>"Lily… Lily, I'm so sorry. I'm so… God, why would I even think that? I knew you wouldn't do that to me, I told myself over and over, but from where I was standing, it just looked so… convincing. I guess jealousy just overtook, you've got to understand how it looked, I'm so sorry-"<br>Lily hugged him back, tightly. "Sev, it's alright. I forgive you… I can understand how it must have looked, us being alone together… it's, it's fine. I just wish you'd have told me sooner."  
>They broke apart, guilt still visible on Snape's face.<br>"I feel so bad, I'm so sorry, Lily…"  
>Lily laughed. "It's fine, Sev, stop apologising!"<br>They decided to make their way up to the small room in the astronomy tower. They'd spent a lot of time there recently, as it was a nice, small getaway.

Whilst they were relaxing in the tower room, something was still pestering Snape.  
>"Lily?"<br>"Hm?"  
>"If you weren't, you know… kissing… Potter, then what were you doing?"<br>Lily had been waiting for this question. She didn't really want to tell Snape what Potter had done; she knew he'd go mad.  
>"It's… it's nothing, Sev, don't worry about it." She laughed nervously.<br>"Lily, just tell me."  
>She sighed, and began telling Snape what had really happened that day: how James had gotten in her face, pushed her into the corner, scared her.<br>She was right. Snape was furious.

"Please don't do anything, Sev, I just want to forget about it. He's not done anything since, it's fine…"  
>With some convincing, Snape promised Lily he'd keep quiet about the whole incident, yet Lily knew he probably wouldn't.<br>At around half past ten, they both decided it was time to head back to their common rooms. They left the Astronomy Tower room hand in hand, both teenagers happy that they'd finally resolved this whole mess.  
>Before they separated for the night, they stood concealed in a dark corridor, Snape's hands linked behind Lily's waist. They kissed passionately; Snape had missed Lily's touch, her warm, soft hands, her slender body, and Lily had missed him. As they locked lips, Snape did something he'd never done before: he slid his hands down Lily's back, and then back up the inside of her shirt, caressing her back with his surprisingly smooth hands. Lily flinched, and Snape removed his hands from her back, worriedly uttering an apology.<br>"It's fine, you tickled me, that's all," she giggled, before giving him another quick kiss and heading towards her common room.

Heading towards his own common room, Snape smiled to himself. Thank God he was wrong. Lily was faithful after all, why had he ever doubted her?

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><p><em><strong>AN:**_**Did ya like it? Please comment with suggestions and events that you might like to see in future chapters, I like to please my readers haha :D I don't know how soon the next chapter will be up, I'll try my best, but it might now be for a week or two. Please anticipate! ^-^**


	9. It's Not What It Looks Like

**A/N:** Hey everyone, sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been so busy and my internet's been down for a while. Anyway, here's the next chapter, enjoy!

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><p>The next weekend when walking back from the Owlery, Lily had passed James, and smirked to herself when she noticed that one side of his face was severely bruised. She knew Snape wouldn't let James get away with it.<br>The past week had been wonderful, nothing had gone wrong and James hadn't been present in Gryffindor Tower since Monday night. What made Lily the happiest of all though, was that the previous night, Snape had decorated the tower room once more and the two of them had spent the whole night up there together. A kiss had led to, well, something more, and she wasn't afraid to admit it, she'd slept with him, and it was great. She didn't regret it, she loved him and it had felt so right. She felt as if nothing could stop her now, she'd never been so happy.

That night, there was going to be a party in Gryffindor common room to celebrate the Quidditch captain's birthday, and Lily was going to attend, despite the fact that James might be there too. She wasn't scared of him anymore. She would have preferred to meet Snape instead that night; however he was once again in detention for hexing an arrogant third year. She'd planned to leave the party early and meet Snape after he'd finished his detention, and spend the rest of the night with him rather than seeing the party through to the end.  
>After getting ready with Samantha at seven o'clock, they both made their way into the common room just as the party was beginning. Some of the seventh years had managed to sneak in huge amounts Firewhisky and mead, and others had raided the kitchens for a variety of snacks and cakes. A talented student had enchanted the ceiling so that it was dotted with colourful sparkles, dancing slightly like fireflies. It reminded Lily of the first time Snape had taken her to the tower room, and she smiled to herself as she remembered that night.<br>After dancing and mingling for around two hours, she flopped down on a chair, exhausted. She checked her watch, realising Snape's detention was probably over by now. She grabbed a bottle of Firewhisky for the two of them to share later, and made her way out of the common room.  
>As she hopped down the first few steps of the Grand Staircase, she heard a wheezy giggle behind her. She turned around, and much to her dismay she found James Potter, sitting on the floor, slumped against the wall. He looked a mess, frankly, his clothes were dirty, his face was still bruised and now sweaty and splattered with mud. Several empty bottles of mead were strewn near his feet, and she could smell that he was drunk. She gave him a glare of disgust and was about to continue down the stairs before she heard him again, this time her spoke.<br>"Please… don't leave me..".  
>Lily couldn't believe her ears; was he asking her for help? She turned around again, mouth hanging open with shock. How cheeky could the guy get?<br>"Please," He attempted to get up, but slipped on a bottle, breaking it, and fell back down, cutting his hand in the broken glass.  
>Lily looked on him in pity. Lily wasn't heartless, she'd never leave someone who needed help, but she thought to herself, why should I help him? He's made your life hell!<br>He mumbled something, and reached his hand out towards Lily, begging for help. She sighed and walked back up the steps, knowing she would regret it.  
>"I must be mad. Come on," she said, putting an arm under his and attempting to hoist him to his feet. "How on earth can you let yourself get so drunk.. My God, you stink!" She pushed him against the wall so that he could steady himself, but she soon saw that he wouldn't be able to do this on his own, and so put her hands on his shoulders to steady him herself.<br>She gave him a sharp slap on the cheek. "Snap out of it! You need to walk; I'm not bloody carrying you!"  
>James opened his eyes drowsily. "Oh, Lily, it's you.."<br>Lily couldn't manage to get out of the way before James fell forwards onto her, his arms hanging limply over her.  
>"James!" She growled angrily, "You prat, this is your own fault you're like this!"<br>She pushed him onto the wall again to steady him.  
>"You're boyfriend did this to me, you know" He slurred, indicating his bruised face. "He's quite violent when he's angry, should watch out for that one." She shot him a dirty look.<br>"Are you going to kiss me, Lily?" She slapped him twice as hard and pushed him hard against the stone wall.  
>"You pig. You can get yourself back to the common room. I don't know why I even bothered to help you." She turned and left him, just as she should have done in the first place.<br>"No, Lily, wait!"  
>James had managed to get himself upright, and before Lily could turn around, he had slipped, fallen down the steps and landed on her.<br>It must have been a very co-ordinated 'fall', because as soon as Lily had recovered from the sharp pain at the back of her head, she realised that James' lips were on hers.  
>For a second or two, she just lay there, bewildered, but then she came to terms with what was happening and began pushing and hitting James' chest, her squeals muffled as she tried to get out from underneath him.<br>In an instant, James moved from on top of her to beside her, leaving Lily laying on her back gasping for air. Someone stepped over her and stood beside James, and when Lily sat up she realised that this person was kicking James brutally in the stomach.  
>"No, stop it," she mumbled, rubbing her head where it had hit the floor, "He's bad enough as it is, stop kicking him.."<br>She then looked up to see that this somebody was Snape, his face torn with pure rage. He kicked James one more time in the face. He then moved from James to Lily, grabbing her painfully by the arm and pulling her up. He didn't look at her. Instead he glanced at James' sobbing body and left the landing.

Lily ran after him, still rubbing her head.  
>"Sev, Sev, wait, it's not what it looks like!"<br>He stopped abruptly, causing her to walk into him. He pushed her backwards.  
>"ISN'T IT? WHAT IS IT THEN? DID YOU JUST END UP UNDERNEATH HIM BY AN ACCIDENT?"<br>Lily was taken aback. She'd never seen him so angry. "Well, yes… I was just helping him-"  
>"WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO HELP HIM? I THOUGHT YOU HATED HIM, OR WAS THAT A LIE?"<br>"Stop shouting and listen to me!" She shot at him, and he fell silent. "He needed help. I couldn't just leave him! I didn't know he was going to fall himself on me!"  
>Snape scoffed. "How could you be so stupid as to trust him? After what happened the other week? You thought he'd just forget about that?"<br>Lily sighed. "You're right, I'm sorry, I-"  
>"You know what, Lily, <em>save it. <em>I'm starting to think that these things aren't just accidents, I'm starting to think that there's something going on here!"  
>Lily frowned. "What?"<br>"In the library. You say you weren't kissing him. Looks to me like you were. You can't prove to me tha-"  
>"I thought we'd talked about this!"<br>"JUST NOW, ON THE STAIRS," He shouted" "You say he _fell_, why should I believe you, you had your hands all over him!"  
>"I WAS TRYING TO GET HIM OFF OF ME!"<br>"REALLY? IT LOOKED TO ME AS IF YOU COULDN'T GET UNDER HIM QUICK ENOUGH!"  
>The pair of them stood face to face on the stone steps, panting and red in the face from shouting.<br>"Fine," Lily said, fighting back tears. "Fine. If you don't believe me and you don't trust me, this isn't going to work." She turned on her heel and marched back up the stairs, her hair swishing behind her.  
>Snape rubbed his forehead. "No, Lily, I didn't mean.."<br>"I said, FINE!" She shot at him, and strode out of sight.  
>Snape cried out in frustration and punched the wall before turning on his own heel and returning to the dungeons.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: **What did you think? Did you like it? Things keep taking a turn for the worst, huh? I've only got a few more chapters to write, and then I think this story will be finished. Please review and anticipate ^3^


	10. Mudblood, And Common As Dirt

It was the Easter holidays, and Lily hadn't spoken to Snape for weeks. Lily had chosen to come home for the holidays, as there was no point her being holed up in the castle when she couldn't even think of what to say to Snape. It's not that she didn't want to talk to him, she just didn't know how to since that night. Several times she'd sat down with some parchment and a quill, _Dear Sev, _she'd begin, but never know what to write after that, which was why she was determined to write something meaningful that night.  
><em>Dear Sev, <em>she wrote before dropping her quill and resting her head in her hands. What was she supposed to say? She hadn't done anything wrong. For what seemed like the hundredth time, she screwed up the parchment and threw it away.

A week later, Lily was aboard the Hogwarts Express, yet this time she was sat with Samantha instead of Snape. She'd told Samantha about what had happened, and for once, she had no advice to give,  
>"Sounds like you've got a bit of a problem, Lily".<br>"I know, I know! I just don't know what to do…" She let her head fall so it rested on her friends' shoulder, and Samantha stroked her hair.  
>"I don't mean to sound cliché Lil, but if it's meant to be then it'll sort itself out soon," she said.<br>Lily sighed. "I hope so, Sam, I hope so…"

However, much to Lily's a nasty shock was waiting for her in the Gryffindor common room. As she walked in, all eyes turned to her, and she couldn't see a face that wasn't either disgusted or shocked. Bewildered, she looked to Samantha for some sort of explanation. She didn't need it though, as the source of the commotion became clear to her when the Gryffindor students parted, revealing a mass of graffiti on the wall.  
><em>Lily Evans: Slut and cheating whore, Evans is a dirty cheat, Mudblood and common as dirt.<em>  
>Lily put her hand to her mouth in shock, her eyes brimming with tears. <em>She ran out of the common room, sobbing. <em>

The next day, Samantha woke up to find Lily's bed untouched. She couldn't bear to see her friend like this. She got dressed and went downstairs, but walked past the great hall and into the dungeons. She waited outside the Slytherin common room for around ten minutes before Snape walked out alone. She grabbed the cuff of his shirt and dragged him to a corner.  
>"Sam.. Sam what are you doing? I was about to go to-"<br>"_What the hell is wrong with you?" _ She hissed at him. "How dare you do something so cruel and heartless? I know you've fallen out but this is bloody ridiculous!"  
>Snape frowned. "I- What?"<br>"You know damn well what I mean, you little sod, don't act like you don't know. We all wanted to believe that you were different, Snape, but no. Well done though, you've really lived up to everyone's poor expectations of you."  
>"Sam, what the hell are you talking about? Why are you talking to <em>me, <em>anyway?"  
>Samantha laughed sarcastically. "Funny. You know what I'm talking about; the graffiti in our common room. How could you be so horrible to Lily? You know she'd never cheat on you! And to go so far as to call her a M… You know what I mean… Seriously, you've really upset her!"<br>"Who… _I've _upset Lily? I've not spoken to her for three weeks! I… I know she'd never cheat. I… It's complicated, Sam…"  
>Samantha scoffed. "No, no it isn't. You're jealous, Snape. You can't bear to see anyone with her because you love her so much, but you don't even trust her? You must be stupid."<br>It surprised Snape that Samantha knew so much. She was right, he couldn't bear it if Lily was with anyone else, especially James Potter.  
>"Look, Sam, I don't know about any graffiti, I can't even get into your common room, can I? And… and you can tell Lily that if she wants to speak to me, she knows where to find me…"<br>She scoffed again. "Fat chance of that, she thinks you don't trust her, why should she make the effort? You know, whatever. This is something _you_ have to fix. See you around." She strode out of the dungeon. She'd make sure this was sorted out, she couldn't bear to see Lily unhappy.


	11. I Wanted To Apologise

Lily had spent the night in the Quidditch stands. She couldn't go back to Gryffindor Tower, not with all those people looking at her and whispering about her. She awoke very early with puffy, red eyes, a sore back and some unexpected and unwanted company.  
>"Morning."<br>Lily scrambled to get up. "You… You stay well away from me, you rat!"  
>James Potter sat down beside the spot that Lily had been sleeping.<br>"Sit down, Evans. I'm not going to… do anything. I wanted to apologise."  
>Lily scowled at him. "I should bloody well think so! But don't even think for a moment that I'll accept it, you've made my life hell these past few months!"<br>James chuckled. "Can you blame me though? I can't help it if I'm attracted to you, you're so beautiful, and clever, and-"  
>Lily folded her arms.<br>"Okay, sorry. But Really Lily, I'm sorry for upsetting you. I feel so bad for you after Snivellus shouted at you that night.."  
>Lily knew that this was all an act. She wasn't stupid; but right now she was too tired and upset to care. She still loathed James, but she couldn't help herself. She needed to talk to someone.<br>"Um, yeah, about that night… How.. How are you? Sev was really brutal.."  
>"Oh, a few cracked ribs and a dislocated jaw."<br>Lily winced.  
>"Nothing the Hospital Wing couldn't fix though. I'm fine now though," he smiled.<br>Lily yawned as she sat back down. "Why- Why are you out here this early, anyway? What time even is it?"  
>"It's six thirty. I had an early Quidditch practise, and that's when I spotted you out here. What <em>are<em> you doing out here anyway?"  
>Lily suddenly realised that she was extremely angry, as well as upset.<br>"Because of you!" She cried as she remembered. "I'm out here because of those awful things that you and your friends wrote!" She was on her feet again. "How could you do that? I even tried to help you that night, and you throw it back in my face like it's nothing? I knew your friends were low, Potter, but you're something else!" She grabbed her bag and jumped down a few of the benches. James followed after her.  
>"What are you talking about? Me and my friends weren't in the common room last night, we were… elsewhere in the grounds! What are you talking about?"<br>So… So it must have been Sev, she thought to herself. Her puffy eyes began to fill with tears again, and she leant against the wall of the stands, sobbing quietly.  
>James approached her and awkwardly put his arm around her.<br>"Get off of me!" She sobbed as she pushed him away. "I know what you're doing, I'm not stupid, just stay away from me!"  
>With that, she ran down the stairs of the stand and out of sight.<p>

James made his way through the dark and muddy tunnel that led to the Shrieking Shack. He sat down besides Sirius.  
>"It worked, she spoke to me."<br>"Well done mate, soon you'll have your _first ever _girlfriend, AND she'll actually like you!"  
>"Shut up, Sirius, I don't think she even trusts me yet. Well done on the graffiti by the way, bit harsh with the Mudblood bits though.."<br>Lupin chipped in from the corner. "This is wrong, James, you can't manipulate someone into liking you, you've not been very nice about the whole situation either…"  
>"Be quiet Remus, you're only jealous, you'll see, she will like me sooner or later."<p> 


	12. It's Wrong, I've Gone Too Far

**A/N: **_After a long while, the next chapter is up. Sorry for the wait. This chapter is from James' point of view and to be honest I had a change of heart, so this may not be what you're expecting. You might not like the change either but don't worry, the rest of the story won't be too cliché (I hope). This is set 2-3 days after the last chapter. Happy reading!  
><em>

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><p>James sat in the Great Hall, sulking. He was thinking about the plan. The plan to make Lily see that he was a great guy and that she should be with him instead of that Slytherin scum. He would show her how kind and thoughtful could be, how much he cared about her and how much they belonged together. If it worked, it'd be great; he'd finally have the girl he longed for and he'd finally have revenge on Snape for stealing his girl and for beating him up. Twice.<br>He felt bad about what had happened the night of the Quidditch party. He genuinely _hadn't_ meant to fall on her, and the kiss was a very happy coincidence but unplanned all the same. He'd heard the shouting match between Snape and Lily and realised that Lily was really upset about it all and he hated seeing her upset. This was the reason why he'd tried a different approach to his plan; he'd tried being forceful and that, evidently, had just pushed her away. His 'nice guy' approach had worked well, he thought, despite the fact that Lily had left the Quidditch stadium crying. No matter, he thought to himself, she's yet to see how nice I can be.  
>But still, a pang in his gut told him that what he was doing was wrong, whichever approach he took. He knew you couldn't force someone to feel a certain way but there was no other way he could be with Lily. She wasn't going to come around on her own, so he'd just… help her along a bit. He wasn't forcing her. He was… helping her.<br>"No," he said to himself quietly. "No. I can't do it. I've pushed my luck far enough, this is wrong." He sighed deeply and slowly got up, wincing as he pressed a pain in his side; Snape sure knew how to deliver a beating.

As he left the hall, he passed Sirius.  
>"Oh James, I came down for some food, you joining?" Sirius gave him his usual cheeky smile.<br>James scratched the back of his neck, looking at the floor. "Uh… Well actually Sirius-"  
>"Oh right," Sirius interrupted, "I know that tone of voice. What's up?"<br>James sighed again. I might as well just come out with it, he thought, I can't do it anymore.  
>"I can't do it to her," he blurted out. "It's wrong, I've gone to far, she's been upset too many times and it's all been my fault to some extent or another, and that's no way to treat someone I care about! I'm going to have to tell her - to apologise!"<br>Sirius just stared at him in bewilderment. "Uhh… What're you – Oh! Are you talking about Evans?" He moved James to a corner of the Entrance Hall and lowered his voice. "So… so what? You don't like her anymore? You're just gonna let her go now?"  
>"Of course I like her, you idiot, that's why I can't do it! I've been thinking these past few days and I've been an absolute arsehole to her, it's no wonder she doesn't want me!"<br>"James-"  
>"No listen," he persisted, "I'm going to find her, to explain and apologise… I need to apologise about that time in the library, I think I really scared her, and then there was the graffiti, why didn't you just refuse to help me? That was a step too far and now I've realised it, it's too late. She'll hate me even more but I can't carry on treating her like this!"<br>"James! Shut up for a minute and listen to me!" Sirius' expression was unreadable. James wasn't sure if he was going to agree or disagree with him. "James… Thank you. To be honest, I'd thought you were going a bit nuts. I mean, you've taken this to the extreme, it's almost creepy! But… I guess if you're giving up now then that's great, because you can't treat someone like that, it's wrong-"  
>"I know it's wrong, that's why I'm-"<br>"Just make sure you mean this, James! You're my best mate, and to be honest with you, I don't want some creepy control freak as a mate. I'm just thankful you're sorting yourself out."  
>"I feel so bad. I think I might go into depression… Jump off of the Astronomy Tower…"<br>Sirius chuckled. "Always the joker, you're beginning to become more hilarious than I am. But… but what are you going to do about Snivellus?"  
>"What about him?" A disgusted look crept onto James' face. "I care about Lily, not him. I've not done anything wrong to him. If anything, he should be apologising to me! Have you seen his temper? That guy's got some serious anger issues!"<br>"All the more reason for Lily not to be with him…" Sirius added thoughtfully.  
>"They're not even talking anymore, I doubt they're still together, so Snivellus is irrelevant," he smiled to his friend. "I should be going, I need to find Lily…"<br>"Yeah, good luck mate, don't be surprised if she hits you, you sort of deserve it…"

James chuckled as he walked away, but it was true. He did deserve it. His sudden realisation felt like a lifted weight, he'd been going about the situation in completely the wrong way. Whether Lily was destined to be with him or not, it wasn't up to him to decide when and where it would happen. Anyway, he thought, she might not take it so badly. She might see how honest I am and forgive me… And there's always my beautiful face to help the forgiveness process…

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><p><strong>AN: **_Ah, he's still a bit arrogant in the end! What'd you think? Was it too big a change for the story or not? I decided to change because I have better ideas for this in the long run. James is still an arrogant pig, but not a possessive control freak who will stop at nothing to be a fuckwit. I didn't fancy carrying on with such a creepy storyline, it felt wierd. But anyway, review and anticipate! "3"_


	13. That's Girls For You, Mate

**A/N: I think I'm just going to quit saying "next chapter up soon" or "sorry for the wait", because each time I do, there's a longer wait between new chapters. Sorry. It's the return of James and his new found sense of good will, enjoy.**

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><p>After calling in at Gryffindor Tower, the Great Hall and the Owlery, James didn't know where to find Lily, so he'd decided to roam the castle and just hope to find her.<br>He'd just about given up as he made his way down to the Quidditch pitch for that evening's practice, but to his surprise, Lily was waiting at the entrance to the changing rooms. He was surprised when she voluntarily approached him.  
>"Um, hey."<br>"Ah, hello…" He produced an awkward yet confused smile.  
>"I just, erm," she wrung her hands. "I wanted to apologise."<br>James took a step back, shocked.  
>"<em>You <em>want to apologise?! What for?"  
>"The other day, in the Quidditch stands… I was really rude to you. You… You were trying to make me feel better and I was horrible to you. I wanted to say thank you, too. You know, for trying."<br>"Lily-"  
>"I know that you're typically a complete arsehole," she interrupted, "but I guess I'm just too nice. I don't know what you're playing at, being nice to me, but I guess I should thank you for apologising. I guess I jumped to conclusions. I know you're a git but… I guess even you aren't horrible enough to have done that graffiti." James flushed red. "I've not really been myself, ever since…"<br>Her voice trailed away. James just stared at her, dumbfounded.  
>"Well, I've said what I wanted to. Goodbye, James." She gave him a small smile and set off back towards the castle.<br>James stood there for a few moments, taking in what had just happened. When he came back to his senses, he had the urge to call Lily back, to explain like he had intended to, to apologise again, but she had almost disappeared from sight by then.

He played poorly in his Quidditch practise, his mind on the ever worsening situation and his ever worsening guilt. He stayed behind in the showers after the others had left to mull things over.  
>It was going to be even harder for him to come clean now. He felt even worse because Lily didn't suspect him of the graffiti anymore; true, he hadn't done it himself, but he'd made Sirius do it for him. What really bugged him though, was the fact that Lily had voluntarily engaged him in conversation. He'd thought that she hated him, and here she was thanking him and being relatively pleasant towards him. What was <em>she <em>playing at? He sighed deeply before getting dressed and heading for the shrieking Shack.

When he arrived, Remus and Sirius were already there, sipping Butterbeers between moving their chess pieces. Remus noticed James' tired face immediately.  
>"What's up, mate?"<br>James acknowledged him with a short nod.  
>"No, I mean really, what's the matter? You look… troubled."<br>James sighed. "I couldn't apologise to Lily."  
>Swallowing a mouthful of Butterbeer, Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Why not? I thought you were hell bent on putting things right? What happened?"<p>

James began to explain the events of that evening, while his friends listened intently. When he'd finished, Sirius looked just as confused as James had felt.  
>"So, what do you make of it?" James looked at both of his friends. The clever one and the womanizer. One of them must be able to make some sense of this situation.<br>After pondering for a short while, Remus asked, "Do you know if she's had any contact with Snape recently? You know, since they argued or whatever it was that happened?  
>"How on earth would I know?" James replied pointedly. "Why?" He added.<br>Remus rolled up his sleeves. "Because, you said she'd said that she'd not felt herself recently. Maybe she needs a shoulder to cry on."  
>"She's vulnerable, James, this is a great time to convince her to go out with you!" Sirius chimed in.<br>"I'm not going to take advantage of her, Sirius; I'm trying to fix things, not make them worse. I'd just be contradicting myself." Sirius pulled a face and turned away. "And, Remus, if she wanted a shoulder to cry on, why does she need me? She doesn't like me _and _I'm sure she's got other friends!"  
>"Yes, that's true… Perhaps everything is just overwhelming for her, and any shoulder will do? Or maybe that one act of kindness was enough for her to start to like you?"<br>"Hardly," Sirius scoffed, "My advice is that at the next chance you get, just do what you planned to do, and tell her everything! The more you put it off, the worse it'll get."  
>"He's right, James. Besides, if she's randomly taken a liking to you now then who knows, she might not be too fussed about what a prick you've been to her these past few months!"<br>"Yeah, maybe…"  
>" I was joking, James. She's going to hate you."<br>James threw his face into his hands and let out an angry yell. "Why is this so confusing?!"  
>Sirius winked. "That's girls for you, mate."<p>

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><p><strong>AN: I'm trying to stop this from turning corny. It's hard. I'm trying to make this original too but I'll bet you guys will figure out the ending before I've written it. Not far to go now. A few more chapters. Hopefully. Review and anticipate! (Although not too much, you story-ruining dweebs)**


	14. It's A Shame

**A/N: **Back with the next installment! This contains a lot of background info which'll hopefully make things clearer. This is also a longer chapter, as I've been slacking and putting up quite short chapters. Enjoy!

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><p>Lily was at a loss. Her head was all over the place. As she headed back up to the castle from the Quidditch grounds, she mentally scolded herself.<br>_What are you playing at, Lily Evans? Talking to Potter like that! You hate him; you hate his guts!  
>I know, <em>Lily told herself, _I know I do, but I can't help but feel obliged to thank him. I know he's an obnoxious, foul waste of space most of the time but I do sort of feel bad about accusing him of something without proof, whether he did write those things or not! Also about how brutal Sev was towards him, I didn't know he could be so violent. Can't really blame him though, Potter was acting like a snake…  
>I mean, he didn't need to talk to me, though, that morning in the Quidditch stands. Maybe… maybe I'm just blaming everything on him because I'm so upset about how things turned out with Sev -<br>Sev.  
>I miss him.<em>

Lily had tried to talk to Snape about that night outside Gryffindor Tower, but whenever she'd got close, one of his Slytherin friends told her to get lost before she was able to catch his attention. They told her how she he didn't want to see her, that she'd hurt him. She desperately wanted to explain that what he had seen had been false, what he'd accused her of was a lie. In a way she way furious with herself for letting things get as out of hand as they had that night; she should have been more in control, she could have prevented it from happening. She was angry that Sev would even consider her going near Potter after how horrible he'd been.

Thinking back to the brief conversation she'd had with Potter just minutes earlier, she smirked. The look of shock that he had had was quite amusing, almost as if he dared not believe she was there talking to him. She did feel somewhat like a traitor to herself, because she'd voluntarily been pleasant towards him. But as she'd said to Potter, she was too nice. She'd never been able to hold a strong grudge.  
>Perhaps Potter wasn't all that bad. Maybe Lily had just convinced herself recently that he was.<br>_That day in the library, though, _she thought. _Maybe he really _is _as bad as he seems.  
><em>Lily screwed up her eyes and rubbed her temple. This was making her head hurt.

Later that night, after talking to Sam about how angry she was with herself and how confused she was, Sam came up with a 'plan'.  
>"I think it's a great idea!" Sam smiled encouragingly.<br>"Oh, I don't know, Sam. It seems kind of dodgy."  
>"Don't be silly," The girl shook her head, shaking her newly cut and coloured hair – short and baby blue. "It's a win-win situation for you however you look at it."<br>Lily folded her arms.  
>"Look," her friend continued, "If this plan works, you'll have Snape jealous and wanting you back. He'll realise how wrong and blind and… and stupid he's been and everything will be back to normal!"<br>"And if it _fails?_"  
>"Then you'll know that you and him were never meant to be. And you'll have gained a friend… perhaps a potential boyfriend!" She finished, clapping her hands together and smiling.<br>Lily sighed. It was something she'd been doing quite a lot recently. "It seems so deceiving though, I'm not sneaky like that. I don't think I can do it."  
>"Well, it's up to you, think about it. You can't deny it's not a good idea."<br>Sam got up, ready to bid Lily goodnight, but before she could open her mouth, Lily blurted out, "Hey! Wait a minute! What do you mean, 'potential boyfriend'?!"  
>Sam gave her a somewhat patronizing smile. "Oh Lily. True, you're repulsed by James Potter now, but you can't deny the massive crush you had on him during our first few years. Hell, third year you never shut up about him for weeks! If only he'd known that then, things would be very different now." Half smiling at Lily's expression, she finished, "But it's late, I'm off to bed. Think about it, Lil. Goodnight."<p>

Lily just sat, jaw hanging open at her friend's parting words. The thing she'd been fighting to keep at the back of her mind had finally broken it's way to the front.  
>"Damn it," Lily said out loud to the empty common room, some hours after it had emptied. It was true, James Potter had caught Lily's eye during her first year at Hogwarts.<br>He was a lot different then though, Lily remembered. This too, was true. James had been a short, average looking and moderately shy boy when he'd began at Hogwarts. He'd just seemed interesting to Lily in a way she couldn't explain. She'd never really become friends with him or engaged him in a lengthy conversation before her third year, which was when things had changed.  
>Over the summer, James had matured. As he'd boarded the Hogwarts Express at the start of term, it wasn't hard to see that Lily wasn't the only one who had noticed. He'd grown several inches, was still lean but visibly toned under his shirt. His dark, glossy hair had grown long and unruly and flopped over his forehead every time he ran his fingers through it.<br>Much to Snape's displeasure, Lily couldn't help but smile sweetly and flutter her eyelashes in his direction. She began talking to him more often – in class, in the hallway, catching him up on the way back up to the common room…  
>Within a short amount of time though, it had become obvious that Lily and the rest of James female admirers weren't the only ones to notice the changes about him.<br>Half of the boys became bitter towards him, perhaps because they were jealous of his appearance, or perhaps because they envied the attention he received and his talent on the pitch.  
>The other half, in contrast, followed James around like puppies. Perhaps they wanted in on his new found glory; perhaps they too admired him. Or maybe they genuinely just wanted to be his friend.<br>All that could be said for definite, however, was that James' idol-like fame around the school had quickly gone to his head.  
>Within weeks of the first term, the version of James that had once interested and attracted Lily became a ghost. James too had noticed his mature appearance, and assuming that he was loved and admired by all, started treating most people like dirt. He'd lost a fair few of his admirers due to this, including Lily, who had quickly become disgusted by this new obnoxious and frankly repulsive version of Potter. The students that still stuck by him were those who still relied on and respected him for his skill on a broom, or the shallow and naïve girls that believed they had a chance with him.<p>

_It's a shame_, Lily thought, _If he hadn't changed so much, maybe I would have been friends with him, or more…_

Unbeknownst to Lily, James' first opinions of her weren't so different.  
>She, too, had caught his eye for no apparent reason during their first year. He'd never really paid her any special attention until their third year.<br>Lily had also matured over that summer. He vibrant red hair hung elegantly and framed her face perfectly. James couldn't help noticing her rapidly developing figure, slim with curves in all the right places, and 'a great rack', helpfully pointed out by Sirius. Her bright green eyes lit up like gems every time the light hit them, and her skin had become illuminatingly pale, giving her an almost ethereal look about her.  
>The difference was that whilst James had become very popular, soaking up the glory, Lily had chosen to blend in with a quieter crowd, perfecting her studies and maintaining her good grades. This was the main reason why James had never made a move on Lily, until now.<br>Although he thought her beautiful, he assumed that she would think him silly and immature, as studying was a thing James had little time for when Quidditch was his main priority.  
>Every year, he would fall in love with Lily a little bit more, until he couldn't sit by and let his feelings go to waste any longer.<br>This was the reason for his creepy methods of wooing Lily; he knew she was too good for him, which was why he had to try his utmost to show her how amazing and worth it he was.  
>But it hadn't worked, and he knew that when Lily learns the truth, his chances with her would be over for good.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: **Okay, the thing about the 'plan' will be explained in the next chapter, although it's probably pretty easy to predict. As always, review and anticipate :D


	15. You're A Fool, Severus

**A/N: **I tried to get this one up quickly after the last, because I'd had the exact same thoughts as **Sithtar** (see in reviews) that the element of the somewhat predictable 'plan' would just make this fic awful. (Don't worry, I've scrapped that!) So, I've tried to adapt and this chapter _hopefully _changes that, and with some luck I've saved it, haha. Okay, enjoy.

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><p>Almost a week later, Lily lay awake during the early hours of the morning, thinking about Sam's 'plan'. In a nutshell, the idea was for Lily to become closer to Potter, sparking a flame of jealousy within Snape and hopefully causing him to realise he'd been wrong to assume Lily was unfaithful and fight to get her back.<br>The more she thought about it, the more she disliked it. First off, she was very uncomfortable with the idea of getting close to James Potter, for obvious reasons and despite his recent kindness. She could also find several potential flaws in this plan. One was that Potter might not co-operate with this plan, albeit unknowingly. Another was that Sev might not take the bait. She'd upset him enough, she didn't want to make things any worse. She imagined things from his point of view: the girl whom he loved had already been caught getting extremely close and intimate with someone he hated. If he saw her with Potter again, she knew this would anger him further and confirm his suspicions that something was going on between them. This, of course, was far from what she wanted.  
>These reasons had made it clear to Lily that this was in fact a bad idea. Kudos to Sam, though, she could see the logic. But it was too risky. She didn't want to deceive anybody. She didn't want to use Potter either.<br>Instead, she came up with her own way of doing things. Firstly, she would confront Sev, tell him what she needed to: the truth. She decided she would leave him to think about it, she wouldn't pressure him into sorting this whole thing out there and then. She understood it was difficult for him and how confused and angry he must be.  
>Then, she'd confront Potter. She needed to get to the bottom of his split-personailty behaviour. She didn't much care for <em>why <em>he'd been acting like he had, she just wanted it to stop. This was something she was not looking forward to, and she couldn't deny she was very nervous about this part. She didn't know how Potter would respond to her interrogations. She pushed this fear to the back her mind for now though; she needed to focus on sorting this out. It was something that had to be done. It was messing with her head.

So, the next morning, just before breakfast, she went down to the dungeons. She waited until someone walked by that she recognised. As if on que, Sev's foul mouthed friend, McNair walked by. She caught him just as he'd turned the corridor coming from the Slytherin common room.  
>"Hey!" she called in a dull tone. McNair turned around slowly, looking for who had called him. He spotted Lily and looked at her with curiosity.<br>"What are _you_ doing down here? I thought we'd already told you that-" He began  
>"Fetch Severus," She interrupted.<br>"I thought we'd made it clear that he doesn't want to speak to you. Do I need to make myself clearer?" He sneered.  
>She took a few steps towards him. "Fetch. Him," she ordered, in a rather vicious tone.<br>Taken aback slightly, McNair nodded and scuttled off back in the direction he'd come, returning in minutes with a reluctant but intrigued looking Snape by his side.  
>"Leave us," Lily heard him mutter, and McNair did so.<p>

Neither of them spoke for a few minutes, until Lily awkwardly said, "Um, hi."  
>He didn't reply, but looked straight at her.<br>"I… I need you to just listen to what I have to say. And then I'm going to leave. Okay?"  
>Snape folded his arms and leant sideways onto a pillar. She assumed this meant 'okay'.<br>"I know… I know what you've seen must have looked like. I know what you must be thinking about me."  
>Snape scoffed.<br>"But," she continued, "you're wrong. You think that I've been interested in Potter, possibly that I've just been using you and have been going with him on the sly. You think that the time spent away from you is spent with him. Correct me if I'm wrong."  
>Silence.<br>"Then, you're a fool, Severus. And I'm hurt."  
>His gaze shifted from the stone wall to her brilliant green eyes. He scowled slightly.<br>Taking several steps towards him, she proceeded indignantly, "How dare you?! You really think I'm like that? You honestly, _honestly _think that I'd do that? _To you?! _We've been best friends for, what, ten years? You think I'd just throw that away?"  
>Snape's gaze returned to the wall. He looked rather guilty now, in Lily's opinion.<br>"And… and with Potter?! After all the horrible things he's done to you, and the way he treats everybody, you really think I'd just forget about that? You know what, I'll be honest. There was a time when I thought he was an alright guy, but seriously, _now? _That's what hurt me the most, Sev. The fact that you think I'm _that _disloyal."  
>After another round of silence, Snape spoke for the first time.<br>"Why are you only just telling me this now? I told your friend that you knew where I would be."  
>"I- What? Because I've not been able to get to you! You're stupid mates have been chasing me off every time I come down here or get close to you in the corridors! I have tried!"<br>"Oh. Well-"  
>"Nope, save it," she told him firmly. "I said I wanted you to just listen. I'm going now." She turned and made to leave, but stopped and added, "If you want to talk, <em>you know where I am."<em>

Climbing the stairs that left the dungeons, she let out a sigh of relief. She felt she'd made her point. The ball was in this court now. But the worst wasn't yet over. She still had the daunting task of talking to Potter.

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><p><strong>AN: **Whew. I think I've _just_ saved it. I hope. Just to add, a few chapters ago I said that I'd almost finished this whole fic. Lol, I think I lied. But I guess that's a good thing, right? More chapters for you to read? Unless you just don't like this fic (then gtfo why are you still here?). But yeah, if you also thought that the 'plan' in the last chapter was a bad move, please let me know your thoughts on this one. Have I saved it? I may have just made it worse. ARGH.


	16. You've Answered All Of My Questions

**A/N: **Okay, I know I really took the piss with uploading this chapter, sorry! This is the penultimate chapter, aaaand, I dunno. It's kind of like, woah. Kind of. But yeah, hope you enjoy!

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><p>Making his way up to his Astronomy lesson, James had his hands in his pockets, fiddling with the small red box he had acquired a few weeks ago. He'd found it on the stairs leading down to the dungeons, and since no one was around to claim it, he took it for himself. When he'd opened it, he'd found a shiny gold neck chain. He had planned to keep it for himself, however eventually decided it looked far too feminine and would ruin his image.<br>He had still held onto it however, just in case he might need it at some point.

This is why he carried it around with him a lot recently; he planned to give it to Lily. He thought that once he'd finally managed to explain himself, whenever that may be, he could offer the necklace to Lily as a sort of peace offering. He'd seen Sirius give expensive gifts to many girls after arguments, and they'd always accept them and forgive him.  
>Luckily, Astronomy was one of the few lessons he shared with Lily, and so today he had planned to finally get everything off of his chest.<p>

So, after dinner, he got up out of his seat, bid his friends goodbye and departed for the Astronomy Tower. To his surprise, and mild pleasure, he bumped into Lily almost as soon as he left the hall.  
>Great, he thought, I can talk to her on the way up. That might make it less awkward… Somehow…<br>But again, it was Lily who spoke first, surprising James even more.

"Oh, James, I've been looking for you, I need to ta-"  
>Utterly shocked, he interrupted, "<em>You've<em> been looking for _me?!_ Wh- why?"  
>Lily looked slightly taken aback. She shook her head and continued, "I need to ask you what the he-"<br>Again, he interrupted her. "Wait, no, Lily. Before you say whatever it is you want to say, I need to talk to you. It's much more important, I- I am so… so…"  
>He bowed his head. God, this was awkward.<br>"Lily, I'm so sorry for everything, I – I didn't mean to hurt you or… or upset you - you don't understand! I just want you to be mine, Lily, I know that I've been a dick but really, you have to listen! I'm so, so sorry, please, _please_, forgive me, Lily, I-"  
>Realising he'd hardly stopped for breath, had been talking at one hundred miles and hour and had actually been confessing to the floor, he looked up warily and then dared to look her in the face.<p>

Her expression was actually quite comical, though he tried not to laugh; he didn't want to make things worse. Lily's mouth was half open, her jaw moving slightly like she was about to speak. Then her eyes narrowed slightly and she began to frown at him. Finally she spoke.  
>"…What?"<p>

"Haven't you been listening?" he managed to say. "Everything I've done, everything I've said and lied about – I'm sorry!"  
>He looked at her for reassurance, silently begging her to reply, to tell him she forgave him. unlikely, he thought. Still, she just stared at him.<br>He let out an exasperated sigh, growing impatient. "I know you won't forgive me but please, I really do like you and wouldn't have tried so hard if I didn't! And… I found this…" He took out the small, red box from his pocket, grabbed her hand rather aggressively and shoved the box into it. "I thought you'd like it… It's pretty, like you – Please take it, I'm so, so sorr- Aren't you going to open it?"

Eyes wide with disbelief, she slowly tilted her head down to the box. Completley speechless, she just stared at it.  
>James was now very impatient. Why wasn't she speaking? He wanted to know what she thought, if she forgave him, and yet… nothing. Practically no response, no nothing. He took the box back out of her hand and fiddled with it, trying to open to clasp at the front of the box.<p>

Out of nowhere, someone yelled "OI!" from across the entrance hall. Too busy fiddling with the box, James did not look up to see what was causing the commotion, and subsequently didn't see the tall dark figure run up to him out of nowhere and grab him by the neck, throwing him up against the hard stone wall, dropping the box on the floor.  
>"WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?" the person roared in his face, pointing to the box on the floor. Dazed from the pain that throbbed at the back of his head, he squinted and managed to make out the long face of Severus Snape.<br>"Oh…" he winced, "it's you, Snivellus… Indoor voices, if you don't mind…"  
>Tightening his grip around James' neck, Snape brought his face right up to his.<br>"I won't ask you again," he snarled, "where did you get that necklace?"  
>James was struggling to breathe now, and could feel Snape's fist tightening by the second. Deciding he wouldn't last much longer if he kept this up, he thought it best to answer him honestly.<br>"I f-f-found it on the f-floor," he wheezed, his head beginning to thump.  
>"WHERE?!" Snape roared again, a sinister look in his eyes, which intimidated even James.<p>

He really couldn't breathe now, and could feel himself begin to pass out. So, mustering up what effort he had left, he kicked Snape hard in the crotch, sending him flying backwards, and allowing air to find it's way back into his lungs.  
>A small crowd had gathered now, and James had just remembered that Lily was still there. He looked around, trying to find her, and saw that she stood in exactly the same place, with the exact same confused expression, and her hand still out in front of her, just as it had been when James had placed the box in it. Her eyes were fixed on him, but he had no time to wonder what she was thinking because Snape was on his feet again, wand pointed directly at his face.<br>"Tell me the truth, you lying little thief, or I swear to God I will hex your fucking balls off!"  
>James knew that Snape was somewhat of an expert in hexes, and was pretty sure he wouldn't think twice before hexing him.<br>"I found it on the steps, leading back from the dungeons," He thought it best to keep calm. "I did ask around, but no one claimed it, so I kept it," he lied. "Problem?"

Wand still pointed at Potter, he bent down and picked up the box. "I bought this, six months ago. I lost it a few weeks ago. JUST AROUND THE TIME YOU STARTED FUCKING AROUND WITH MY RELATIONSHIP!"  
>James looked down, feeling slightly guilty. He felt that he should apologise to Snivellus too, because after all, he had ruined his relationship and upset him as well as Lily. He hated Snape though, and he just couldn't bring himself to apologise. It wasn't Snivellus he cared about anyway, it was Lily.<br>"Look," he began, still wary of the wand being pointed in his face. "I swear, I just found it. I actually planned to give it to Lily," he glanced over at her, "I wanted to apologise for… everything… I didn't know it was yours-"  
>"Apologise to Lily?" He laughed quietly. "What for? For scaring the shit out of her? For threatening her? For bullying her and insulting her? For ending her somewhat stable relationship with me? For causing her unhappiness for these past few months?! HUH?!"<br>"I – yes. Yes."  
>Snape lowered his wand slightly, shocked. He hadn't expected that.<br>Now it was James' voice that had a menacing tone to it. "Lily belongs with me. We're perfect together. She shouldn't be wasting her time with a stupid, evil pathetic thug like _you. _I understand you have feelings for her, I don't blame you. But if you really loved her, you'd let her be with me, because everyone knows that I'm so much better for her." He ended his patronizing speech with a patronizing smirk.

He'd pushed Snape too far, he was about to explode. He raised his wand again, pointed it at James' face and began to shout a spell. Surprisingly, his voice was feminine and light, and then suddenly, Snape's wand had vanished.  
>James looked around, bewildered, and then noticed Lily, one hand in the air which had just caught Snape's freshly disarmed wand, and the other held in front of her, gripping her own wand which was pointed at the two of them.<br>Livid, Snape took no notice of his missing wand, and instead curled his hand into a fist and punch James in the face, hard. He turned on his heel and marched away, thrusting the necklace case into Lily's hand as he went past.

Before he'd gone too far, she grabbed the sleeve of his robe, and muttered, "wait", and he stopped in his tracks but didn't turn around. Lily took a deep breath, and marched up to James who was steadying himself against the wall.  
>She looked down at him; she wasn't scared or confused anymore.<br>"I guess you've answered all of my questions," she spat. "You are a filthy, arrogant, selfish _pig, _and I hate your fucking guts. How can you think I'd be better off with you? You've made my life hell, you've messed with my head. I knew I couldn't trust you, and that's why I tried not to. I actually thought you'd turned over a new leaf, but I guess you can never grow out of being an obnoxious little scrote."  
>He hoisted himself up again, using the wall for support. At full height, he was at least a head taller than her, but she still stared at him coldly, and full of hate, took her turn to punch him in the face, with all the strength she could muster. He slumped down the wall again, and she took this opportunity to kick him in the balls.<p>

With one final cold glance down at him, she swiftly turned leaving him on the floor in pain, her long red hair swishing behind her, and walked back over to Severus.

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><p><strong>AN:** Okay ah, what d'you think? I know Lily got a bit crazy at the end but seriously, I hate Potter and he deserves what he gets! There is only one more mini chapter to go!


	17. A Promise

**A/N: **Finally we have come to the end of this tedious story! This one is really, really short, and actually I think kind of soppy and cliché-y romantic, but I felt like it, okay? Sorry if it kind of ruins it. Enjoy!

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><p>"Do you want pumpkin juice?"<br>"Erm, no. Water's fine," Lily replied.  
>Almost a year had passed since Lily had found out the truth. James really hadn't been truly sorry. In the end, he just wanted her to himself. She'd felt sick for days after, unable to believe that she had actually began to think that James had changed, and that she had began to trust him. She had almost lost everything she'd had with Sev, and that too made her feel sick. But everything was fine now.<p>

Since that day, James had made himself scarce around Hogwarts. He'd dropped out of lessons that he shared with both Lily and Snape, if he ever passed them in the corridor, he'd look to the floor and hurry past. He'd finally been put in his place. Lily didn't have to worry about him anymore, and from what he'd heard, he'd recently gotten himself a girlfriend. She scoffed when she heard this, because it proved even further that Potter was just a selfish control freak. She didn't care who he dated. She had Sev now, and nothing was going to change that.

Now they were sitting at breakfast together in the Great Hall, minding their own business, and neither could be happier. Snape had always known that somehow, he would be with Lily. In a way, although he loathed him, he was thankful to James Potter, because his meddling had really tested their feelings for each other, and they had turned out to be strong enough to withstand everything.

Lily was fiddling the gold necklace that Severus had given her. After all the drama had died down, she'd finally managed to find out why he'd bought it for her, and she remembered the conversation well.

"I bought it when I first decided that I wanted us to be more than friends," He began. "I told myself that if we managed to have a stable relationship, I'd give it to you… as a promise." That was Lily's favourite part: a promise.  
>"A promise that I'll only ever love you, and that you have only ever and will ever be the girl for me, Lily. And… and a promise that someday, I want to marry you… I thought a ring was a bit stupid, cause we're so young, but… I want you to know how much I care, and that we actually are meant to be together."<p>

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><p><strong>AN: **Es finito! That's it. Done, finished, nada. Really soppy, right?


	18. AFTERWORD - 2013

Hey guys, I don't know if anyone'll see this as it's been a while since this fic finished.

I feel I ended this fic way too soon and am considering writing... I dunno, a sequel? What do you think? Something you'd be interested in?

Please let me know!


	19. A sequel!

**Hello again. I've gotten quite a few responses to my idea of posting a sequel, and I've decided that I will write one! I'm in the middle of another fic at the minute though, so it might be a wait for the sequel to Longing.**

**When I ****_do_**** get around to it, I'll post a chapter on here letting you know. In the meantime, maybe check out my other fic? ;D**

** s/9828083/1/Bookworms-and-Chasers**


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